Weekend Warrior

Last Thursday, I was asked to join the station team that would be running up the John Hancock building on Sunday for charity. In a moment of bravado -- or perhaps, stupidity -- I agreed. If you're not familiar with the Hancock Building, it's the second highest structure in Chicago, next to the Sears Tower. 94 floors -- 8,000 feet tall.

As a former track athlete, I think I let my competitive nature get the best of me sometimes. "Sure, I can just knock that thing out, no problem. What's a few stairs?" Ordinarily, it shouldn't be a problem, but see, I've kind of let myself go this winter. You know, it's cold out, working long hours, blah, blah, blah. By Saturday night I still wasn't taking it seriously. I went to L-Boogie's party till about 2 a.m. -- even though I had to be at the Hancock at 7 a.m. -- and incorporated what I'll call my three-pronged W approach to training. Wine, wings and women.

As I looked up at the Hancock at 7 a.m., I knew I was in trouble. I couldn't see the top of the building, because it went into the clouds. On one hand, this may be helpful. If I die on the way up -- a distinct possibility -- my spirit won't have far to go.

I hooked up with our station team, and gleaned some information from some veterans who've done this before. Absolutely DO NOT run starting out, and keep a cough drop in your mouth to provide some cooling sensation when your lungs start hacking out your chest. And take one step at a time. It was good advice. Although I ran the first couple of flights (for the camera's benefit), I settled into a brisk pace. By the 10th floor I was ready to die. At this point it's purely mental. You play games with yourself to get to the next level. About halfway through, I started noticing roadkill -- people who had started before me who fell out on he stairwells. I keep going. Volunteers with pom-poms, yell encouragement at us at each new level. I want to throttle them. Common sense would tell you to stay as close to the inside of the stairwell as possible in order to take the shortest route, but by flight 60 or so, I learn that it makes sense to take it wide when you reach flat ground -- it gives your legs a chance to loosen up a bit.

Flight 84 -- I can smell the finish line, and I told myself I'd pick it up on the last 10 flights. Sweet victory is mine -- not against my competitors, but against my body that wanted to give up.

Today, after months of procrastinating, I finally joined a gym. The older you get, the tougher it gets to fall out of shape and get it going again. My final time was 19 minutes and 3 seconds. Next year I'll get it down to 15.

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Grillz

Breaking news! Breaking news! As I was flipping around a newspaper today I saw that Nelly's song, "Grillz," had taken over the No. 1 spot in the Billboard 100. More evidence that perhaps:


A) I've definitely moved into another phase of my development where I'm just not in touch with what's considered mainstream cool -- nor can I consider myself an arbiter of such.

B) Memphis and to a lesser extent, Louisville, Ky., could well become the next great cultural centers of America.

C) Pop music is really... really... bad.

D) The fact that I'm railing against popular youth culture proves that I am indeed just like generations before me who fought every new (or borrowed) form of music that came along, from Elvis to the Beatles to hip hop.

But it wasn't the song that struck me as ironic. Mainstream hip hop lost it's ability to shock and bore me a long time ago.

It just so happened that I downloaded a short documentary called "Bling: Consequences and Repercussions," by Kareem Edouard, and watched it on my iPod on my way in to work this week. The documentary focuses on what are referred to as "conflict diamonds" -- the diamonds obtained in African mines under the control of revolutionary regimes. It's the same subject Kanye West addresses in his song "Diamonds of Sierra Leone," and this documentary takes rappers to task for their worship of the tainted jewels. I've never been able to understand that dynamic in Kanye, who brags about his bling as much as any rapper, but at the same time, seems to have a conscious, and certainly, a lot of substance to his lyrics.

At the end of the day, perhaps I just need to get with the program. I'll make my dentist appointment tomorrow.

I Got Jokes

As I've previously blogged, Bode Miller is no friend of mine, and it's been kind of fun watching him flame out at the Games. During today's iCast, I was able to multi-task -- simultaneously take some public shots at Bode (he hurt his ankle in Torino playing basketball), while at the same time, continue my recent fixation with Lolita -- also known as Sasha Cohen. Must be a Russian thing...

Click here to see the clip.

More Ignorant Sh$t

As Dave Chapelle would say.. more skits b%$ch! One of my favorite news bloopers from the archives..

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What's Wrong Shani?

As I blogged last week, Shani Davis was a name to look out for during these Olympics. You may or may not know or care (judging by the Olympics ratings), but last night the Chicago native became the first black American to win Winter Olympic gold in an individual event by winning the 1,000 meter long track speedskating competition.

What was strange was his attitude after the race. He didn't look like an individual happy to win a gold medal, and was very abrupt and surly during his post-race interview. There's been quite a back story with this kid surrounding the Olympics, involving the politics within the U.S. Speedskating Federation (he trains in Canada), an outspoken mother and his decision not to compete in a relay-type event, therefore incurring the ire of his teammates.

An analyst for our station went so far as to call him a jerk on Friday, which I think is a little harsh with the limited knowledge we have so far. There's more to this story than meets the eye, and I think it will come out by the end of the Games. Unfortunately, my hunch is that race is somehow involved, meaning that America's not-so-secret albatross could again rear its ugly head for the world to see.

Tuesday he's scheduled to square off against American Chad Hedrick, who has developed as Davis' chief rival, and has criticized him publicly for not participating in the team events. Perhaps the networks will finally get the drama and ratings grabber it has been seeking.

The Game: Chick Crack

I've been fascinated by this book called "The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists." Apparently there's dozens of underground groups that claim to have the best theories and techniques for picking up women -- aimed mainly for guys who have trouble doing so. So this writer decided to infiltrate several of the societies, study their tricks and write a book about it.

I literally at times can't put this book down because of the many truisms it entails, and I've turned several of my female friends on to it as well. The players have a theory that no matter what city you're in, or what situation you find yourself in, if there's a group of women present and you follow certain techniques and guidelines, you can exponentially increase your odds of scoring, regardless of your looks or social status. This morning as I was reading the book, I had another "aha" moment.

The PUAs (pickup artists) have a term called chick crack. Chick crack is any psychological or spiritual subject that appeals to most women but does not interest most men, such as astrology, tarot cards and personality tests. I have noticed over the past few years that the vast majority of women I meet seem to have an acute interest in zodiac signs, even if they don't know what they're talking about. "You're a Scorpio? Oh, my!" they'll say with mock horror. When pressed for more information, usually you'll learn that she doesn't really understand the subject on any kind of analytical level at all (except that Scorpios are typically freaks. No comment). But irregardless of her knowledge base, the subject still appeals to her. So guys, think of the advantage you'll have if you're able to turn that around, and give her the astrological detail that she seeks? Ain't nothin' but chick crack y'all...

Geek Alert!

I've become the unofficial consultant for friends considering buying an iPod or another mp3 device, and since every new version seems to have a new wow factor attached, I'm often asked where I think the technology will go. Well, I definitely think it will soon evolve to the point where your iPod is basically a wireless device, and you'll be able to download music without attaching it to a physical computer. Or, beam it a TV and play the video or whatever.

But according to another blogger's post today, the next must-have iPod is a video version with a large 3.5 inch screen and no click wheel. The click wheel appears digitally under the screen when touched with your finger. Now that's cool.

Crash And Burn

So Gina and I exchange a couple of emails Monday morning and I tell her about this little pre-Valentine's Day event at a new bar-restaurant a couple of blocks from my crib. Didn't ask her to go WITH me or anything ... just that I was planning to be there (true), and if she wasn't doing anything, it might be a decent scene. Easy way to kinda sorta ask a woman out without risking rejection I suppose. She told me she had a bunch of stuff to do and was also on deadline, so there was no way she could make it.

Later that night I'm chillin' by the bar and who walks in? Ya, it's her. But she's not making a move to come over toward me, in fact, she hasn't acknowledged that she even knows I'm here. No problem. I watch her work the room a little bit before approaching her as she's talking to a couple of girlfriends.

So you think I got a hug, or a cheerful how you doin'? Or even a smile? Naw... very businesslike. Very... nothing. So after a spirited charm offensive, I excuse myself and move on. She promised to check me before she left, but I had seen enough of her act, and left later without saying goodbye.

This morning I get an apology email saying that she's sorry she didn't see me before I left, but she had a bunch of friends she hadn't seen in ages, blah, blah, blah. In other words, I've been royally blown off.

So the question is... where did I f$#k this one up?

What A Dick

I've wanted to post something on this for a couple of days now, but I guess it's just settling in now. I mean it certainly makes you do a double take when you hear that the vice president shot someone. And not just any vice president, a guy who's been known be kind of a mean s.o.b. anyway, who isn't beyond angrily uttering the f-word in Congress.

Can you imagine if he would've killed that dude? Accidental or not, that's a trippy thing to think about. It was also kind of odd how the story was kind of buried by the time the press finally got ahold of it. Hey, Michelle Kwan's out of the Olympics, let's get our priorities straight...

In our post-modern society, there's always a silver lining to these stories. The jokes! Check out this slideshow I did today on the late night comics' reaction to Cheney's folly.

Some Ignorant Sh$t

I finally got around to cleaning out a folder in my inbox containing all the video clips I've compiled over the years in order to load them onto my iPod. Lots of funny stuff that I completely forgot about, so I'll pass some clips along to you every now and then. This one had to have been one of the most idiotic radio station promotions ever, Hot 97's Smackfest '05. (quicktime file)

Olympic Notes

Woke up this morning to the news that Michelle Kwan has dropped out of the Olympics due to injury. Now the team has to scramble to fly in 17-year-old Emily Hughes to take her place. Seems like reasonable heads could have figured out a couple of weeks ago that this could have taken place. Instead, they give the slot to Kwan for nostalgic reasons, when it was obvious she wasn't ready, and hadn't earned her place on the team this year. Now some kid's got to compete after coming in last-minute, not to mention she's already missed the pomp and circumstance of the Opening Ceremonies. Oh well. Perhaps that will open up a slot for a Canadian athlete to sneak in for a medal. Oh yea biznitches, you know who I'm rooting for, what now?

In other news, Bode Miller, arguably the most outspoken and annoying participant in the Olympics, finished fourth today, out of the medals. Looks good on you now kid. Win a gold medal, and you can yap all you want. Now you're just some guy with a ski pole with a big mouth.

Keep an eye out for my man Shani Davis, Chi-town stand up! The Hyde Park (South Side Chicago) native has also generated his fair share of controversy, mainly due to his outspoken mother, but hopefully this kid -- who seems genuinely nice -- can pick up a gold.

Working Hard Or Working It?

As I promised earlier this week in The Russian blog entry, I planned to pursue a podcast interview with Gina B., the relationship expert for Red Eye newspaper. She came in this afternoon and we rapped about the pressures surrounding Valentine's Day. She's mad cool, and as I mentioned earlier this week -- mad sexy. She does, however, seem to be slightly jaded by the male species, a result of constantly listening to other females' relationship problems through the course of her job. We agreed to discuss it over drinks. Stay tuned.

Anyway, click here to listen to the interview. By the way, Motorola has just signed on as our podcast sponsor, hence the ad at the beginning. Gotta make that money money!

Discuss: Working Hard Or Working It?

Another Riley In Da House

I'm proud to announce that my nephew, William Riley, came into the world at about noon today. Eight pounds and 12 ounces to parents Ray and Tracy -- and no pressure on me to produce a boy. Pictures coming shortly.